WARNING: Random Thoughts on a Saturday Evening
WARNING: This post contains absolutely no insight, flow or class. Proceed at your own risk, motherfucker.
First, let me just tell those of you who don't live in New York that the MTA sucks Ann Coulter's nut sack, which is allegedly growing out of her saggy, sweaty and uneven breasts. Allegedly. I'm just saying I heard it from a pretty reliable source, but you never know.
Gratuitous bitchy moment of the day --- Check!!
Now down to business.
Trader Joe's is the bomb diggity shit. Usually I don't use words like "bomb diggity," but I was so excited to spend an hour perusing through the endless aisles of gourmet cheese, fish, vegetables, fruit, wine, etc that I felt I needed to get a little retro on your asses.
All three of you.
Yes, I went there.
Let's see...soooo much has happened in the past few days, like on Thursday when I met none other than Miss Joan Rivers' assistant, who coincidentally happened to break the heart of a certain coworker of mine nearly 12 months ago. Yes, New York is a small fucking town after all.
What else??? Ah yes! Yesterday my dearest BFF and I caught a preview of "{Title of Show}" at the Lyceum Theater on Broadway.
Theater queens, take note: FUCKING FANTASTIC.
Tourists, take note: FUCKING FANTASTIC.
Apathetic theatrical haters: FUCK OFF
Just kidding. Don't fuck off. Go see it. You'll love it. I promise. :-)
Obnoxious smiley face usage as a throwback to the "bomb diggity" nineties ------CHECK!!!
What else...
Today I spent the day baking on Long Beach with a few dear friends - some much needed R&R that not only calmed the spirit, but also left my perineum with ample amounts of seaweed to stew in on the ride home. Let me just say, seaweed is never fun when it surprises you by coming out of certain orifices you weren't aware it was visiting. Then again, it could be worse. For instance, a long, long time ago said BFF and I were attacked by a swarm of plankton that set the bar for intrusive beach byproducts. I won't go into the nitty gritty, as I'm sure you're already imagining the worst.
But I can tell you this: that bar has not yet been breached...but I'm still knocking on wood.
Until next time,
GM
First, let me just tell those of you who don't live in New York that the MTA sucks Ann Coulter's nut sack, which is allegedly growing out of her saggy, sweaty and uneven breasts. Allegedly. I'm just saying I heard it from a pretty reliable source, but you never know.
Gratuitous bitchy moment of the day --- Check!!
Now down to business.
Trader Joe's is the bomb diggity shit. Usually I don't use words like "bomb diggity," but I was so excited to spend an hour perusing through the endless aisles of gourmet cheese, fish, vegetables, fruit, wine, etc that I felt I needed to get a little retro on your asses.
All three of you.
Yes, I went there.
Let's see...soooo much has happened in the past few days, like on Thursday when I met none other than Miss Joan Rivers' assistant, who coincidentally happened to break the heart of a certain coworker of mine nearly 12 months ago. Yes, New York is a small fucking town after all.
What else??? Ah yes! Yesterday my dearest BFF and I caught a preview of "{Title of Show}" at the Lyceum Theater on Broadway.
Theater queens, take note: FUCKING FANTASTIC.
Tourists, take note: FUCKING FANTASTIC.
Apathetic theatrical haters: FUCK OFF
Just kidding. Don't fuck off. Go see it. You'll love it. I promise. :-)
Obnoxious smiley face usage as a throwback to the "bomb diggity" nineties ------CHECK!!!
What else...
Today I spent the day baking on Long Beach with a few dear friends - some much needed R&R that not only calmed the spirit, but also left my perineum with ample amounts of seaweed to stew in on the ride home. Let me just say, seaweed is never fun when it surprises you by coming out of certain orifices you weren't aware it was visiting. Then again, it could be worse. For instance, a long, long time ago said BFF and I were attacked by a swarm of plankton that set the bar for intrusive beach byproducts. I won't go into the nitty gritty, as I'm sure you're already imagining the worst.
But I can tell you this: that bar has not yet been breached...but I'm still knocking on wood.
Until next time,
GM
posted by Hmmm @ 8:32 PM
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