Why? I'll never know...

Three years have passed. Three years. Seems like eons ago.

Life in New York never stops, thus a year - a month - a day feels like an eternity.

It's exhausting, really. There are days when you don't want to get out of bed and face the millions of eager, highly motivated drones that'll glady step on you to get what they want. They're not all like that I suppose, but the longer one lives in New York the more apparent they are...like a festering brood of cockroaches scouring for their next meal of garbage and decaying flesh.

Okay! Now that I've gotten that out of my system, on to bigger and better things.

Birthday dinners are like that nightmare where you show up to high school naked. Everyone stares and expects interesting and engaging conversation. What do you do when there is none there?

Lately I find myself wondering if I'm as shallow as some say. I'd like to think not, but if it's true is it really all that bad? There are a number of shallow things that truly inspire me to be a better person, yet coincidentally amuse me greatly. For instance:

Shallow Water - Who doesn't prefer being able to stand up as they fight breaking waves in the sea. Personally, being able to see the bottom of the sea is comforting and reassures me that something so vast and mysterious isn't as terrifyingly dangerous as we've been led to believe.

Shallow "Stars" - Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Heidi Montag...the tart patrol makes me grin when I realize they've become famous for simply being pretty and stupid. God Bless America.

Shallow Gossip Columnists - Nothing drains a brain of lingering troubles like wasting a few hours on sites like PerezHilton, Gawker or Dlisted. Thanks be to Hashem. Or Allah. Or Ra. Really, pick one.

Shallow "Fashionistas" - The L Train is brimming with these illustrious works. Any given Sunday you can catch a trendy chatting up his/her friend about the "new" collection at American Apparel. Whatever makes you feel better, I suppose...

Shallow Cinephiles - Obscure references to films no one has seen that feature things like a man hitting his head against a wall for an hour and a half really perplex me. Do I really care? Why do you?

Shallow Club Kids - The makeup is lovely, but how many fucked up stories can you have before it's too much?

Shallow Fuckers - These are the saddest of the lot for me. Frequent shagging because you're lonely is truly terrifying, as the only thing you're going to get from it is an STD...or maybe a kid.

Shallow Friends - Let's drink. That's it. Just be at a bar together, drink and go home with someone else. Usually there's some combo here of the Friends/Fuckers categories, but occasionally you find one without the other (thanks to the internet).

The list goes on and on...